Given As Clay

I don’t know why it happens?   My flesh. That rebellious nature we all are born with.   Why is it such a fight sometimes?! Its so frustrating.   I love the Lord so much. But there are times when I love myself more.   I just don’t want to.   I just don’t want to get up early. I want to sleep in. I don’t want to be diligent. I don’t want to pray. I don’t want to control my attitude when I woke up on the wrong side of bed. I don’t want to homeschool. I don’t currently care if the bathrooms need cleaning… the list goes on…   I just sat here this morning knowing the attitude I woke up with and not wanting that attitude to dictate me. Begging God to change it. Wishing I had the energy I once had. Now, I have nothing of myself to rely on but only Christs promises to hold me up.   I don’t want my husband or kids to suffer from my selfishness. Yet, at the same time, if I am not careful and let it take over, I also wont care. Selfishn...